full of emotions .

Now , I know that monarch caterpillars live in the folds of milkweed leaves , that tights are never as tight as leggings , that 'We'll see' always means 'No' . I have learned enough of the world to realize that it is a place of grown-ups , and that the only way to leave my mark is to speak at the ends of their sentences and act so much like them that they sit up and take notice . I know that the minute I fall asleep ,my teddy bears' sewed-shut eyes snap open .

I know that truth can cause a sharp pain behind your eyes and that love sometimes feels like a fist around your throat .

Why am I feeling this way ? Why am I so emo nowadays ? Why do I feel like crying everytime I see it happening ? Why do I feel so dumb and useless ? Im still trying to find the answers to my questions . No one knows and they can never understand . Except for Zaza (':

im drifting apart from the usual crews . i feel so irritated this days over such small stuff . i scold Matin and Ajmal for no reason . Ajmal and I weren't lyk how we used to be ever since tht happened . I feel so out of place . But for one reason tht I know is , I Love Him (':

- 19 more days to our 21st .

baby baby .

today's training was indeed very hectic and tiring . Bby had some sort of problems , i guess , during recess time .. he was , not in his usual self during recess :(((( beore CD , Kak Nurul told me something abt Bby's new bike . I was super duper ultra mega shocked when she told me tht thr was my name on his bike ! :O anyways , CD was very fun yet tiring just now . we practiced the right way to march and turn . then , we paused for awhile to tke a group photo .. Mr Suhaimi is so (!!!!) he's super evil , manzsx ! I was doing somekind of stunt for the informal photo when he distracted me and the camera went pooooof! just lyk tht .. in other words , it's CANDID . omgomgomgomgomg . [hilang glamour !] we practiced the routing for NCDCC Day . it was so dotdotdot .. moving on ..

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HISTORY , my dear readers , I GOT GOLD FOR 2.4 KM RUN ! It was shockingly true . All this while , I FAILED 2.4 .. now , I passed ! yeayyyyyy . big improvement , y'know ^^ tmrw , im gonna fly away to Malaysia . [sarcastic] ok bye .

And if he touches you and you feel your skin is burning.
Kisses you and you feel your stomach turning,
He's the one,
He is the one.
[thanks , Rahim (:]

i took a quiz and this are the results :-

You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high.

which is so damn fucking true . :|

together again .

isit lyk , super wrong to be in love wif eur ex , again ? yes , I admit , tht I am unable , I cant bring myself to forget him and for the last few months , I hv been suffering , hiding behind a lie ! .. I admit I'm stupid , to be accepting him again for the 2nd time .. but , is it wrong to just give him a chance ? and let him repent ? okay , I noe I've hurt a guy's feeling but tht is really not my intention ! many people were lyk , cnt believe tht we're together again . so , whu cares ? I'm not pointing finger to anyone . but , this is what they call strong love . he msged me in the middle of night , saying tht he missed me a lot and he even wish me luck in my relationship wif Mr A . I have been msging wif Kak Eira lately , and , she saed tht Rahim told her , tht he if he had a choice , he would want to be wif me again .. Ok fine , call me stupid , call me dumb . call me anything you want just because I am wif him AGAIN .

"If he had another chance , he would want to be wif you again ," said Kak Eira . I am gullible , I noe .

Elyna saed ,"Even if you tell me tht you are together wif him , I wont approve it ."
Rasidah saed ,"Lala ! I am so happy for you ! Laz lng wif him , k ?"
Natyqa saed ,"Oh , laz lng !"
Sha saed ,"It's eur love life . I'm willing to accept him if he does change ."
Shekyn saed ,"Okay . Last long[er] ."
Shud saed ,"It's up to you . Aku approve ."
Zaza was expressionless .
Aidil and Matin saed ,"Eur the Rihanna (Singapore version) ."

I love my usual crew ^^ [except Matin and Aidil . Elyna is not part of the UC .] Ok , so , I am Rihanna [Singapore version] , huh ? thanks a lot , best friends ! all of you , ganging up on me , just because I'm together wif Rahim again .

for him .

to him :- Im sorry for doing all this . Trust me , I am not using you . I juz thought tht , if I am able to love you , I might be able to forget Rahim . But , I was proved wrong . It's best tht we stay as best friends , like how we used to be . I dont wanna go on , hiding behind this awful lie . I want you to stay happy and want you to find eur own happiness . I am nvr good enough for you , and u are too good for me . Im tired of falling in love again .. Im sorry , really sorry . I noe I've hurt you lyk , many times but tht is not my intention . Trust me , I lyk you better if eur my best friend . We can joke ard lyk how we used to . Dont u think tht , our relationship makes people unhappy ? Eur best fren , I think he's feeling left out bcuz nowadays , eur always stuck wif me and I am eur priority . Let them sae what they want , as long as my conscience is clear .

random.

after reading Nad's blog , it dawned on me tht I used to be like her once when Rahim went away to Bukit Batok -.- haha , siak ! anyways , I had this looonngg convo wif Kak Eira just now . yeah , we talked abt the bastards whu broke our hearts . I exchanged stories wif Kak Eira , and she told me part of her stories .. Kak Eira is indeed a strong girl ^^ Im super glad to have a sister lyk her . say awwww ! [imitating Ms Intan] (:

Homeworks done ! Yessa , within 2 days , everything done . except for Art , which is that , im lazy to start on . On monday , I have to bring along NCDCC uniform to school . WITH the boots ! dumbfuck , i will obviously gonna have difficulty bringing tht to school -.- to end this off , im gonna show you readers my boyfriend's pic ^^

quizzie .

was tagged by Gui Xin darling to do the quizzie .

1. If you change your name, wad would it be?
-Lala . ^^

2. Do you think you are good-looking?
- No ?

3. Are you single or taken?
- Single .

4. Are you happily single or taken?
- Happily :D

5. Wat is ur favourite colour?
- Blue .

6. Do you think the world is round or flat?
- Round ? Maybe ..

7. Spongebob or Patrick?
- Spongebob , bby ! (:

8. Chuckie or Tommy?
- Both sounds super scary ! :|

9. Pooh or Eeyore or babay pooh?
- Baby pooh !

10. black or white?
- White ..

11. Who are ur best frens?
- Oh , my usual crews + Check Hwee .

12. Who is ur enemy?
- Abdul Rahim Bin Rahmad :D

13. Who is ur hero?
- Mr A <3

14. Who is the last person you saw?
- Lil sis .

15. Who was the last person you hugged?
- Lil sis .

16. who was the last person you told i love them?
- Mr A ! <3

17. who is the last person you miss most?
- Uh ?

18. wat is the one thing tat brightens ur day?
- Meeting my usual crews .

19. when was the last tym u went on vacation?
- I forgot -.-

20. who was the last person to annoy you?
- Haikel .

21. Against or for gay marriage?
- Totally !

22. Bush or Kerry?
- Otak kau -.-

23. Against or for abortion?
- Yes !

24. When was the last tym u cry?
- Last Sunday .

25. When was the last tym u were abosulutely happy?
- [the person created this q , spelled absolutely wrongly :x] aniwaes , now .

26. Who was the last person u yelled at?
- Lil sis .

27. Do you think u are well liked ?
- Er , idk .

28. do you go taiwanda?
- No .

personally , I find this quiz super lame . but , I did this quiz upon persuasion (?) Uh , I think . Oh grt ! My homework-SS are UNTOUCHED . three cheers for Lala ! ;D

outing , rugby match .

his quote for the day is ,"Seriously , dude , seriously."

I didnt hv time to post abt the loooooonnng class outing ytd . oh well , im updating now ! (: ytd's outing was super fun . yeah , i woke up around 9 and got myself busy for the outing . met up wif Zaza and walked to the interchange together . we shared A LOT of stories on the way and there is a lot for us to catch up on as we didn't meet each other during the holiday . aniwaes , reached thr , quite a number of people has arrived , even the 2s4's . head off to NTUC fairprice to buy the things for barbeque-ing . after tht , we took the mrt and alighted at Bedok Mrt Station . met Elyna thr , and made our way to East Coast by boarding 196 . unfortunately , it was the wrong bus . thanks ah , Lu Maw ! anyhow lead us only -.- we walked a lonnnnggggg way until we reached East Coast . reached thr , we dont even noe whr's our pit . again , hv to walk a lonnnnggg way until I finally reached the pit .

barbequed , met Khan . gave him and Roy some food and they went off to meet Shikin and the rest . im the so called 'chef' for the day . I marinated the chicken , helped them to barbeque the things . and yes , I was super addicted to Ice Lemon Tea yesterday -.- Check Hwee is my maid . He cycled all the way to some shop faraway to buy buy my Ice Lemon Tea . 2 bottles , mind you ! (: k then , left the place at ard 6 and reached home at 8 . ^^

For today's match , this part is especially for the touch rugby girls :-

Girls , we did our best today and gave all out . Im sorry for not tapping one of the OFS girls which actually lead her to score a try . My mind was somewhere else at tht time and all I could think of at tht time was us winning . Dee , Aishah , Lina and Myra did a wonderful job . I think , without u guys , this rouch rugby team wont go anywhere . This is just the beginning . Practice makes perfect and , we're gonna do more practice from now on . (:

title-less.

omigosh omigosh . I'm missing Mr A so terribly . He went to Malaysia for lyk , one week ? dumbass ! -.- thrs class outing tmrw . Lu Maw planned our class outing the same date and time wif the 2s4's . (!) my wound still hurts . I have difficulty sitting down and also lying down . shit bangzsx !

camp .

went away to camp on Saturday and Sunday . just for one day .

Day 1 :- We were divided in to 4 different Rota's . Bear was supposed to be in my rota , Rota 2 . but , he was nowhere to be seen at tht time . So , Praveen took over his place and became the Rota Commander . Rasidah was the Deputy Rota Commander and I was the Section Commander . We did some footdrill and did a dry-run for the NCDCC Day . Then , we will be taking the silver badge . Which is , to give out command . I was super nervous and I realised tht I actually CAN give out command . Oh , im so proud . I Love NCDCC camp for tht dae bcuz thr was no Sec 3 thr .. And , the NCDCC senior whom I hate , did not come . Yeah , after those shouting of commands , we played games . Shah Indra , Adika and Farhan kecik was in my group . First game , we had to lift up a bucket of water wif our legs . Then , we played a game lyk tangle2 lyk tht . Adika was opposite of me , I was supposed to hold his left hand . Then , I have to hold Shah Indra's hand . After tht , we hv to untangle using whatever method to form a circle . Third game , named Whacko . Whack people whose names are shouted . They hv to shout another name to avoid being whacked . Fourth game , all the group members must stand on a small piece of newspaper and fold it wif our legs . Shah Indra and Adika must hug me in order to fold tht piece of paper . Shah Indra piggy-backed Farhan kecik . In the end , the newspaper was crumpled -.- not folded . I'll skip all those basic stuffs and move on to the bunk . We are supposed to sleep in 4v8's classroom . Oh My Freaking God . Pioneer is super duper scary at night . I nearly cried cuz I was super scared . After washing up , we watched Ladder 49 ard 10 . We slept at 11 and we hv to wake up at 5 next morning .

Day 2 :- Was woken up by Ma'am Radin at 4.35 . Shit , manzsx . My leg hurts due to marching a lot the day before . My back hurts because we slept on the floor . No sleeping bag , sia . Then , did morning exercise . After warming up , we hv to run ard the sch . Yes , when I was about to run , thr was a brick in front of me . I couldn't see it and I ended up tripping over and I slided . The floor was like the Parade Square . I shouted , really loudly when they apply medicine to it . I called to my mum , only to realise tht she was not thr beside me . Well , I don't wish to rant more because my wound still hurts . Good day , people .

and yeah , this is what we do everytime we make a trip to johor ^^

Joe Jonas (:

What Jonas Brother secretly crushes on you! Your Result: Joe Jonas Kewl! You got Joe Jonas.You and Joe are the perfect match.Joe secretly crushes on you. One day you find a note he was planing to give you confessing his love. The next day he askes you out, and you live happily ever after.
Nick Jonas
Kevin Jonas
What Jonas Brother secretly crushes on you! Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

and now , im so in love wif Joe Jonas <3 !

I hate Japanese !

The trip was educational . Although I keep dozing off when the faciliator is talking -.-
To think after all those talks and persuasion from people to stop hating Japanese , I'm still anti-japanese now . Oh , I have my own basics reason .

They started a war in Singapore just to get something tht they want ? And worse still , thousands of people whu are innocent died . Oh , why ? because of the Japanese . they are too greedy and selfish . Adnan Bin Saidi was burnt alive . ALIVE , people . the Japanese put him in a bag , tied him to a tree and stabbed him a lot of times . when they still hear breathing , they resort to burning him alive . Another person is Elizabeth Choy . The Japanese locked her up in a cell wif some other people for months . And , please imagine . Within those months , they did NOT bath at all . how cruel can the Japanese be ?

I am still Anti-Japanese now . Nothing and no one can change my mind .

Japanese ; cruel .

Today was so [insert word] . Feel so sick again because of the damn weather . Mr Lee was exceptionally attentive today . (?) He gave us worksheet yet again -.- After school , had the briefing for Wednesday's tour . Ohmy , why are the Japanese so cruel ? I cried when one of the armies threw a baby up in the sky and shot it . Shitto , Aidil witnessed me cry and saed I was too emotional . Another scene is when 5 or mre people without energy were shot to death . Yes , I cried . Oh well , too emotional , I guess ? Im currently alone at home now . It's going to be 7 pm soon and my family have not reached home . They went out just to send Sherry for operation . Cool or wad ? Currently chatting wif Mr A and I have nothing else to do . Oh , good day ! (:

bored.

Im so bored . I have nothing to talk about .

Aku Cinta Mr A ;D

again and again .

Usual Crew , I want us to be lyk before .
Just because of a person , and all of this happened ?

~~~

Mr A , i miss you lyk , alot .
And , too bad , u gotta sign out from msn soon :(
Good luck for the rugby match tmrw !
And , remember , I dont want you to come back wif any injuries .
I Love You .

~~~

I HATE NCDCC SENIORS . ESPECIALLY HER .

1 , 2 , 3 .

1) Mr A's sick . He's not talking at sch . He didn't even entertain me at sch . He didn't talk to me much at sch . He got asthma attack last night .

2) She's getting between me , Sha , Shikin , Sidah and Shud . She's being rude to us . She's trying to snatch Shikin . She's the third party in our friendship . She's a copymeow . Let me repeat : She's being exceptionally rude to us !

3) Touch rugby was fun . Yusof is fun . Full attendance today . I like Rabiatul's perfume . I had fun during the training . I've become darker now .

Mr A is back to normal ! (: *jumps for joy*

i was feeling super tired and lethargic and also sluggish today .
i have nothing much to say abt sch . i guess , im going to sleep early later . bye people .

father , mother , i hate the way u guys have been treating me .
wad is this , man ? why must i be treated differently from my sisters ?
dad , u bought kak zana an adidas jacket which costs 60 dlrs .
when i wanted to buy converse shoes which cost only 39.90 , u will say tht it is too expensive .
wad do u mean ? 60 dlrs is muchmuch cheaper than 39.90 ?
another thing , when i wanted to buy my specs , u saed "No nid . Use the old one first . Ltr2 then can buy ."
when my sister wanted to buy specs , he will sae ,"Ok , i will bring u there ltr ."
why must u be so biased ?
do u even noe the reason why i sat in front of the computer always ?
thts bcuz , i have no one to talk to at home . im super lonely .
when i sit in front of the comp , u will scold , nag and raise eur voice .
why am i treated differently from sisters ? why must u mke me hate the family ?
yes , Kak Zana is a goooood girl . she's very hardworking and always helps mom in housework .
i did not see Kak Mira doing the housework aft she got back from work . oh why ? because she's tired . so am i ! u dunno wad probs i have at sch , and there u go , showing me tht oh-i-hate-you-daughter look .
i had enough of this . i just feel like running away from home .

school . Ajmal turning 14 (:

today was okay , i guess ? first period was lit and i got to know my CA marks . i got 73 and i achieved my target (: Ajmal got higher marks than me (he copy other ppl's work , thats why XD) joking eh , Ajmal . Malay lesson , Cikgu Hafiz never come and my art teacher took over . so , yes ! one free period and i competed my maths homework which is half-completed . finished homework , disturbed Alif and Izzul . hahs , tk sangka diorg tu [dot dot dot] .. :D after recess was english . we presented our news in class as a whole . maths lesson was so damn fucking funny . haha . Mr Lee , the new teacher , will be teaching us starting from tmrw till May . Its a piece of good news bcuz it obviously means tht i need not hear Ms Wang nag XD Mr Lee is not fluent in his talkings and it seems like he has a hard time delivering his message -.- super annoying siaaaaaa ..

this part is especially for Ajmal Farahi :-
Ajmal , u've turned fourteen now . Bestf , stop behaving like a kid , okay . Eur a big boy now and do eur duties from now on . Study hard , achieve eur goals . Ohh , i noe whu u like ehhh ! ;D haha , yes . she's a very fortunate girl to get to know you . so yeah . i hope u like the small birthday party we had specially for you aft sch (: best fren , i love you . && , if i've offended u in any way , im sorry aites . Happy Birthday , Ajmal Farahi Bin Nordin (: